UNSPOKEN REFLECTION

what the head thinks, the hand puts down

To JKM, a chronology

I sat on the counter. Waiting patiently. He said he was going to come. The beer tasted bitter so I switched to whiskey. The evening went on. It became dark. No call, no text. I knew it was time to leave. I gathered coins, paid my dues and staggered off to the stage. There should be no traffic now, I told myself.

It was dark, about eight in the pm. At the stage I met you. It was too dark to see your face, I was a little too tipsy to actually pay attention. Anyway, we boarded a mat and went off to the city centre. Why we alighted so far I have no clue, how you convinced me to walk all the way across town, derailing me totally, I blame the alcohol. We sat in one of those bars, had a chat, drinks, then called it a night.

—————————– 2 weeks later ———————————————

A friend request on Facebook.  I click on accept friend.

—————————3 months later——————————————-

A chat window pops up. “hello” you say.  We converse. A lot of nonsense at first. But hey, we make a date. We will meet at 6 at the bar across the road. I can barely hide my excitement.

So again I am on the counter. Waiting patiently. Same seat, same bartender, same drug. The evening goes on and you don’t turn up. I head to the stage and this time meet no one. I go home.

—————————-5 months ————————————————–

Intermittent talks here and there. All virtual. No meetings.

————————— 1 month later———————————————-

I bump into you in the city centre. Small chat. You invite me for a drink. You said you wanted to talk  about me and you. HAHSHA I laugh at you. Me and you?? Nucca please. I decided not to honour the date.

—————————- weeks later—————————————————

Its your birthday!!! Happy B-day. I sent my regards and you responded. We agreed to meet this time for real. Dinner? A restaurant, my place or your place?? So long as we are together.

So we met, ate, drank, me merry. I kissed you for the first time. And threw all caution to the wind. You were such a gentleman. All that I had ever wanted. Funny, fun, easy to talk to.. you made my evening. You said words no one had said before. So I fell, hook, line and sinker. We promised each other it would work.  Wow! All my friends should have been there to pop the champagne with us.

The weeks were lovely. Meeting you every other day. Sharing our days together. You got me higher than the normal joint. I loved you. Yes I did.

And that is all I remember.

—————–PRESENT—————————–

you don’t call anymore. Hours, weeks, days,. You have gone silent. Every time I ask, you say you are too busy. Don’t you still hold the same position you held before? Don’t you still use the same route to work? Haven’t they reduced your working hours? So, how come you cannot be found. You fall asleep at 9 in the pm like a little bird and wake up way past the normal hours? Your work schedule is Monday to Friday. So how come you say you were in the office on a Saturday evening at 10 in the night? Are you being paid overtime or did they change your job description to a night guard?

You say you never go anywhere yet you are all over. All I ever see are photos of you and many other women. You are wearing that smile I love, the look that is priceless. How come I am never told of any of these things? I have to learn them from the web? Why haven’t you ever taken a photo with me? Or even had one of me? The camera is right there and I know you love snapping away.  And out of curiosity How come there are no men in those photos?

Tihihi now I laugh. I don’t know why? I remember when I said I loved you and I ask myself why. Was it to get you to listen to me or I was looking for a reaction. Anyway, no harm done. Looks like you did not take it seriously. Neither did i. I have walked away and now you call, you fill my phone with numerous texts. Baby, my love for you was an illusion and I don’t want to make it a reality. So go on, don’t stop doing what you do all because of me. Work harder, sleep more, meet other women and take more photos. I could teach you a new pose. Seems you know very few. And for crying out loud, you know my phone is sick. It has a sort of of epilepsy. Keeps going into seizures and loses all its memory. So stop with all the communication. I have info there thay I need intact.

PS. I know something about you that you don’t think I do.  BASTARD!

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May 10, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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