UNSPOKEN REFLECTION

what the head thinks, the hand puts down

hey baby…

A body with curves that would make the streets of Monaco green with envy.  Eyes that could literally pierce your soul, blinding you and spelling with just one blink. They are large, crystal clear yet with a brown centre. A smile so beautiful, dimples on each cheek. Teeth that looked like they had just come from being sharpened. They are all level and brilliant white.. sort of like they had spent some time in jik or some bleaching agent.

I take a puff from my Embassy cigarettes. A cough from the chest. Shucks!! I should stop this nasty habit. I calm the cough with a swig from my plastic cup. It burns all the way down why didn’t I get a soda and dilute the whiskey?

I swap the cig with a joint and I look up and look at my picture. That’s how I saw her. Yes… that must be it. If she looks like that perhaps I can forgive him. anything other than that then I will totally disrespect  him. And that is much worse than the hate I feel for him right now. The hate that is making me destroy my body with all these drugs I am pumping into it. The hate that has made me sit outside where I am, stare out at the empty sky and  feel tears drop down my cheek for the last 36 hours.its all about the hate.

Re-living the moment. I walked in, bright and cheery as usual. I was going to see my boy. Hadn’t seen him in 3 days. That is an eternity when you have given your soul to someone. He was there, lying on the sofa. Nude as usual. I love that. I took a moment and took in the picture, hairy chest,  pot belly, thin legs… ugly, but I loved it. I bend over for a quick kiss and head out to the kitchen. Thirty minutes later and the food was on the table. A simple meal, pasta and sauce.  Nonsensical conversation was all we did as we ate. Dishes are back in the kitchen and we head to the sofa. We need a break for the food to go down.

As we lie there, nude belly to belly as usual, hormones rise, fingers start doing the walking. Up and down exploring new territories. He likes been licked. More of tongue action. Dutifully I did that, and went all the way south. Wait. What the hell Is that whiff? Eeeww… I brought the now stiff piece of meat closer and sniffed again. That was definitely latex! I would know. I hate the smell. It makes me sick. That’s the reason why I never use those things. Next thing I was running to the toilet to give it some love. I held onto the bowl as I emptied all the contents of my stomach. I wonder why my intestines didn’t get out.

I looked down at him. Looking up at me, innocently asking me whats wrong. Am I pregnant? Hell no you bigot. I answered with a simple question, how many times have you had relations with her? Who? He asked. ‘The whore you have been sleeping with’. Was the simple reply. ‘I haven’t touched anyone else’ was the defence. And he tried to turn it around.’ You know I love you’ . I felt sick. ‘And why are you accusing me of things I can never dream of doing?’  Tears burnt my eyes  but I held on. He cannot see me cry. I asked about the putrid stink and he denied. That actually meant if he did not relate with another, then he wore the latex during a self gratification moment which is sicker. I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out, almost did it naked. But I was out.

Now I am here. It’s been 36 hours. No calls or texts from him. I smoke because he hated the habit. I drink whiskey because he hated it and always took to beer. I am in big trousers and a tshirt. Fully covered because he hated it when I was not nude. I do everything he hates. It’s a pity, I would have married him… I pick up my cell and dial. ‘hey, baby how’ve you been…’ my fuckmate never disappoints.

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April 17, 2010 - Posted by | men

1 Comment »

  1. they sure never do.

    Comment by boyfulani. | May 6, 2010 | Reply


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