UNSPOKEN REFLECTION

what the head thinks, the hand puts down

Pro-life? really??

We have heard so much on this debate. Everyone seems to have an opinion. The Lawmaker in parliament, the clergy from , human rights activists, Lobby groups, heck, its even been debated upon for one whole week on the local radio. I have my stand ofcourse. I am pro-life. meaning no matter what, I will keep my baby. That is what I believe in or so I think.

Listening to all these people talk can be tiring and confusing especially if you do not have a stand. Most of them seem to be in one cast though, – Pro life but they are all reading from different scripts.No one knows when life begins.

Anyway I listen to all these people and read the various stories of women who have undergone abortion. They all seem to regret it waay after the process is over. None thinks they should have done it. But going back, what was in their minds exactly at that point they went to the clinic?

Sometime back, I was well, not really there but almost had what we women call a “scare moment”. My periods wee late and judging by what I had done, well, it seemed  hard to believe i could be anything but pregnant. Now at this point, soo much goes through your head. First, the idea of carrying a baby is SCAARY worse than visiting the VCT unless you have been looking for one for so long. then to make matters worse, you are single, more or less earn enough for you alone, your father is the Don’t-mess-with-me-type….. and soo much more.

As I sat down and cried thought about it, so many questions went through my mind. I knew it was a gift from God and I should be happy, but I wasn’t. I am old enough to be a mother but I felt soo weak at that point. I am going to be responsible for someones life, how am i going to carry this baby till end term? how will I tell my parents? will the baby-daddy agree or leave me? how am I going to pay the hospital bill? will it be a natural birth or C-section?? ….. and the many questions go on and on.. they haunted me for 25hrs each day. i couldn’t concentrate or even do the simplest of tasks without a new question popping up…

Back to the topic. Most of the people calling the shots do not know exactly how it feels like to be in that position. They assume, you are strong enough to take responsibility for your actions. Truth be told, we are never strong enough. There are always things that make us weak. The future taking most credit. For a young girl, she will be thinking of her studies; getting a kid means missing some terms off school. For the young lady, it is her career. missing a couple of months means bye-bye to that big promotion. For the married, its more complicated. could be matters to deal with both finances and careers or maybe infidelity.

As women, we have to deal with our situation and come out strong. At this point, in my opinion, men have little or nothing to do with it. Yes, he was part of it, but guess what, at the end of the day, it is us who will bear the consequences. Do not get me wrong, I know men would love to be involved. They would like to and should be part of it. But judging from what I see in todays world, it is best not to base our final decisions on them. They will agree on an abortion if any part of their life is being threatened, but, one day they will hold it against you. He will keep on reminding you tha you killed his child. For those who give you support, well, some stick on but others bail out at one point..

I really have no answer to the question, whether to abort or not. I would take either side depending on the situation. I am still pro life, by the way. I would never kill my child. But that is me right now. I have my own stuff. If a baby comes right now, I will not be worried about my career, my parents, the bills or anything. I will gladly accept it and move on to give birth. But what about that 19yr old, fresh from high school, has excellent results in her finals, everyone looks up to her, has gotten a scholarship to that prestigious university, the boy has ran off, the parents are not well off, the father is a monster…… these and soo many other situations. if you were her, what would you do??

P.S. I will give my clear stand soon. i know it, but only to put it into words.

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March 22, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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